by Joshua Cheresnick, Next Level Customer Support & Growth Specialist

There are moments in life when you realize the road ahead is not the road you thought you were on.

For our family, one of those moments came when our unmarried, young daughter—serving in the Navy—told us she was pregnant.

It wasn’t the news we had expected. We wanted grandchildren someday, but this wasn’t how we had pictured her life unfolding. We had dreams for her. We had expectations. We had a picture of what her future might look like, and an unexpected pregnancy wasn’t part of that picture.

Then it happened again.

Two unexpected pregnancies.

Some encouraged abortion. Others believed she should leave the Navy. There were plenty of opinions about what she should do. 

Just as our daughter had a choice to make with each pregnancy, so did we. Would we hold tightly to the future we had envisioned for her, or would we trust God with the future He had placed before her? 

We came to understand that our daughter’s life was not ours to control. Our responsibility was to love her, speak truth when needed, pray faithfully, and stand beside her.

That required surrender.

There was fear. There was disappointment. There were questions about her future, her career, and the challenges she would face. We had to let go of some of the plans we had made in our minds for her life.

But letting go of our expectations made room for something better: trusting God.

We chose to encourage our daughter rather than pressure her. We chose to be present rather than withdraw. We chose to believe that an unexpected pregnancy did not mean the end of her future.

Today, I am a grandfather, a “Poppy”–because of an unexpected pregnancy.

And I’ve learned that sometimes God’s plans look very different from ours—and sometimes they are far more beautiful.

There are still joys and sorrows, victories and challenges. We worry. We pray. We’ve watched our daughter navigate motherhood while serving her country. We’ve seen strength in her that perhaps she didn’t know she had.

And then we look at two precious children who are here—two lives we might never have known if circumstances had followed the expectations of others.

Grandparents Need Support, Too

I wonder how many grandparents find themselves in a similar place when their son or daughter faces an unexpected pregnancy.

They may feel afraid, disappointed, or grieve the future they imagined for their child. They may not know what to say or how to help. And sometimes, their fear can unintentionally become pressure on their son or daughter.

This is an important place for pregnancy help organizations to come alongside families.

Grandparents need someone to listen, too.

They need a safe place to acknowledge their fears and disappointments without judgment. They may need help separating their expectations from their child’s future and learning how to support rather than control.

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can tell a grandparent is this: 

Your child still has a future. This pregnancy does not erase the dreams you had for them. The road may look different, but God is still at work.

That is what we needed to hear.

I’ve learned that surrender doesn’t always feel like peace at first. Sometimes surrender means laying down the future we thought we wanted and trusting God with the one He has given us.

The story didn’t unfold the way we expected.

But it taught us to trust. It stretched our hearts. It gave us two precious grandchildren.

And it reminded us that God is not limited by our plans.

Sometimes the life we would have chosen is not the life God gives us. And sometimes, when we dare to surrender our plans, we discover that His plan was more beautiful all along.