by Joe Malone, PhD, SRAS, CPT, LWMC, CFE
Most of us would probably agree that the 21st century has brought a great deal of crazy sexual anarchy to Western countries, including the UK and the USA. This has been magnified by the bombardment of oftentimes harmful and sometimes blatantly pornographic visual and verbal influences on our 21st century young people. Movements that have found traction in this time include InCels (involuntarily celibate men), DINKS (double income no kids couples), and the 4B (The 4 No’s) Movement, a radical feminist group that began in South Korea. This group of young women believes the following:
No Dating
No Sex
No Marriage
No Children
We will focus on the 4B Movement and contrast what science, Scripture, and the Power of Love say about adopting this lifestyle.
No Dating: The originators of the 4B Movement direct young women to not date men. Dating is the relational step that opens the door to romance, which they see as harmful. How do science, scripture, and the Power of Love see it? Science shows that the vast majority of women are designed for romantic love. Before birth, in utero, a female’s brain is shaped and configured by hormone exposure to be sensitive to the effects of oxytocin once they later go through puberty. For this reason, as both sexes go through puberty, the girls end up with three times the bonding drive that boys have at 16, and boys end up with three times the sex drive. In our past cultures of sexual integrity, this drove males toward romantic dating of females, and sex was cherished within the blessings of marriage. With the sexual devolution trying to destroy romantic love, girls who were less likely to be depressed at the beginning of puberty are more than twice as depressed as boys by age sixteen. Unfortunately, this condition lasts for the next 30 years.
What does Scripture and the Power of Love say? In the creation process in Genesis, the first thing that God realized was that it wasn’t good that man was alone. Dating (or more accurately, Christian Courtship, which we at ROMANCE REVOLT prescribe) is the first step to man not being alone for the rest of his life.
No Sex: Here we have a partial agreement with the 4B adherents. We agree that promiscuous sex, as in modern hook-up culture, is a travesty and goes against, particularly, most women’s sexual nature. We believe strongly, though, that sex within marriage is one of God’s greatest blessings to us as humans. Sex needs to be kept within its proper place, and when it is, science shows that it helps young men to bond, or as we call it, fall in love. Vasopressin, which is the main male bonding biochemical, requires a chaste courtship for an extended period of time to work. Extramarital sex destroys the vasopressin buildup in a young man’s brain, and he never falls in love. While under the same circumstances, because of different brain biochemistry, young women do fall in love. This results in many female heartaches and heartbreaks across Western society!
What does Scripture and the Power of Love say? God said to Eve, your desire will be for your husband. This is what makes humans a monandrous (in the Greek mon=one, andro=man woman) species. This is the cause of human women having the anatomy and biochemistry that empower them to practice sexual integrity better on average than men.
No Marriage: This may be one of the 4B’s biggest miscalculations. Science shows that if young people want to live a long, happy, and healthy life, marriage is one of the most effective ways to achieve that. Being married adds an average of two years of life expectancy for women and a whopping 10 years for men! Marriage quality is the number one predictor of life happiness. Finally, being married reduces your chance of everything from hospitalization and need for surgery, to clinical depression and heart attack, just to name a few.
What does Scripture and the Power of Love say? That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. A happily married couple’s blood pressure drops, and their heartbeats synchronize when they lie down to sleep together at night. This is not true for an unhappily married couple or a cohabiting couple.
No Children: the 4B must not realize it, but getting married and starting to have children younger, therefore being able to have more of them, and breastfeeding each one of them for one year greatly benefits young women’s future health and sexual wellness greatly. For example, science shows that a woman who has her first baby closer to age 20 has half the chance of breast cancer than one who has her first at around 30. The same two-to-one positive ratio is true for a woman who has five or more children compared to those who have none. Breastfeeding, especially on demand for a year or more, also has a large future anti-cancer effect. These are better for the health of the children, too, because as a woman ages, her eggs that she has had since she was in her mother’s womb age as well and are prone to produce chromosomal abnormalities.
What does Scripture and the Power of Love say? Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
To conclude: GOD IS LOVE, and we are to follow His ways and therefore practice His ultimate wisdom in our relationships!
