by Bryan Gonzalez

As I prepare to say goodbye to you, I’ve been thinking about another kind of goodbye: saying goodbye to donors.

There are (at least) three ways we say goodbye to donors.  The first is at the end of an appointment or phone call.  This may seem like the simplest goodbye, but it is an important moment in the relationship.  We have an opportunity to leave the donor feeling appreciated and valued – not merely because they made a gift, but because they are part of something larger than themselves.

A good goodbye doesn’t have to be elaborate.  Sometimes it is simply a sincere “thank you,” an acknowledgment of their partnership or investment, or a reminder of the difference their support makes.  Don’t rush the goodbye.  The final words of a conversation often become what people remember.

The second type of goodbye comes at the end of the relationship.  A donor may decide to stop giving, unsubscribe from communications, move to another ministry, or simply become disengaged.  Our natural – and initial – reaction may be disappointment.  After all, we work hard to cultivate relationships and sustain financial support.  But this is precisely when good stewardship matters most.

If someone tells us they no longer wish to receive communications, honor that request graciously.  If they stop giving, resist the temptation to treat them as though they have stopped mattering.  (In other words, don’t burn bridges!)  They are still a person who once cared enough about our mission to participate.  A gracious goodbye protects the relationship – and sometimes, unexpectedly, the relationship resumes years later.  Even when it doesn’t, we have honored the person and the trust they once placed in us.

The third goodbye comes at the end of earthly life.  When a donor dies, we should respond with more than an administrative update to a database.  We have lost someone who cared about the mission.  A thoughtful note to the family, a memorial gift opportunity handled sensitively, or a simple expression of gratitude for that person’s life and generosity can mean far more than we realize.  

And sometimes, death isn’t the end of the donor relationship.  A donor’s family may continue the connection.  An estate gift may reflect years of faithful generosity.  A story about that person’s commitment may inspire others. 

Recently, a 90-year-old donor, who had made a significant legacy gift to our PHO, passed away.  I hadn’t been able to connect with him since before the pandemic because he had Alzheimer’s, but I stayed connected to the family.  Just a few weeks ago, I was able to visit with the family and express gratitude for the earthly gift that their brother was, but also the financial gift that he had made to our endowment.  It was truly bittersweet.

And…perhaps there is also a fourth goodbye: when we leave.

Every person working in the PHO world will eventually say goodbye to a ministry.  Whether through retirement, a career change, or simply a new season of life, we won’t work at one job forever.  In fact, an employment goodbye is inevitable from the first day we begin a new job.

Because PHO work is deeply relational, how we leave matters.  We can express gratitude, provide a thoughtful handoff, leave relationships intact, and celebrate the people and ministry we’ve been privileged to serve.  Stewardship isn’t only about how we welcome and cultivate people – it’s also about how well we say goodbye.

As you think about your own donors (and colleagues), consider this question: If this were my last conversation with this person, would I want them to remember feeling valued, respected, and appreciated?  If the answer is yes, then you are probably doing more than fundraising.  You are practicing good stewardship, which is at the heart of donor-centric fundraising.

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your fundraising journey these past five years.  It has been a privilege.  I look forward to seeing many of you in Atlanta in 2027 – and until then, thank you, and goodbye.

**If you want to stay in touch, feel free to send me an email:  This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.**