by Kathy Jerman, Director of Affiliate Services

Every November, National Adoption Month provides an opportunity to celebrate families formed through adoption, recognize the children and youth still waiting for permanent families, and honor the many individuals whose lives have been touched by adoption.

What began as National Adoption Week in 1984 was expanded to a month-long observance in 1995. Today, National Adoption Month continues to raise awareness about adoption, particularly the need for permanent, loving families for children and youth in foster care. It is also an opportunity to recognize the commitment of adoptive families, the experiences of adoptees and birth families, and the dedicated professionals who walk alongside them.

For those of us serving in pregnancy help ministry, November is also a wonderful time to reflect on how we talk about adoption and the important role we play in helping women explore their options.

A Celebration I Will Always Remember

Before joining Heartbeat International, I had the privilege of serving as Executive Director of a pregnancy center and adoption agency in Syracuse, New York. Having both ministries under one organization gave me a unique perspective on the different ways we could walk alongside women and families, from the uncertainty of an unexpected pregnancy to the lifelong journey of adoption.

One of the events I looked forward to each year was our local National Adoption Day celebration.

National Adoption Day is observed annually on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and communities across the country host events to recognize and finalize adoptions. This year, National Adoption Day falls on November 21. In our community, the county courts held their celebration on the Friday before National Adoption Day. It was always such a special occasion!

This was much bigger than a celebration for our agency alone. Families from throughout the county gathered to finalize their adoptions, including families who had adopted through private adoption, foster care, and adoption agencies like ours. Each family had its own unique story and journey to that day, but they all came together to celebrate a significant milestone.

The event center would be filled with adoptive families, children, grandparents, extended family members, agency staff, caseworkers, attorneys, and others who had been part of these adoption journeys. There was a ceremony with speakers and an opportunity to celebrate all the families gathered together.

Then came the part everyone had been anticipating. Judges were stationed around the room, meeting individually with families and signing the documents that would officially finalize their adoptions.

And perhaps my favorite part was the bell.

Once an adoption was officially finalized, the child, if old enough, had the opportunity to ring a bell. Throughout the room, you would hear bells ringing as family after family celebrated this important milestone.

It was a beautiful experience to witness. Seeing the joy on the faces of parents and children, watching extended families embrace, and celebrating alongside our own agency staff, caseworkers, and adoption attorneys reminded me of the privilege we had in being part of these families' stories. Those memories will always hold a special place in my heart.

But my years in adoption work also gave me a deeper appreciation for the many different perspectives and experiences that are part of adoption. The joy of an adoption finalization is very real, but so are the complex emotions, questions, and losses that may be part of an adoption story. Adoption is not simply a moment in time. It is a lifelong experience for adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

Working in both pregnancy help and adoption reinforced for me just how important it is that we approach adoption conversations with sensitivity, accurate information, and respect for the women and families we serve.

Understanding Adoption's Place in Pregnancy Help

In pregnancy help ministry, we often hear adoption described as an alternative to abortion. While that language has been common in our movement for many years, my experience leading both a pregnancy center and adoption agency helped me recognize why it is important to make a distinction between these two decisions.

Adoption and abortion are actually two different decisions.

A woman facing an unexpected pregnancy may first be considering whether to continue her pregnancy. If she chooses to do so, she may then consider how her child will be parented, whether she will parent the child herself or choose parents to raise her child through adoption.

Rather than viewing adoption simply as an alternative to abortion, we can recognize it as a different kind of parenting decision - one in which an expectant mother considers choosing another family to love and raise her child.

Why does this distinction matter?

Imagine a woman walking into a pregnancy help organization feeling overwhelmed by an unexpected pregnancy. She may be worried about finances, housing, her relationship, education, employment, or how she will manage the months ahead. Perhaps she is afraid of how her family will react, or she simply cannot imagine how continuing the pregnancy could fit into her life.

If we immediately introduce adoption as the answer to her concerns, we may unintentionally communicate that we haven't really heard what she is saying.

Her immediate concern may not be who will parent her child. It may be whether she feels capable of continuing the pregnancy at all.

One of the things I valued about having both a pregnancy center and an adoption agency was recognizing that while these ministries sometimes intersected, they served women at different points in their decision-making. The goal of our pregnancy center was never to move a woman toward an adoption plan simply because we also had an adoption agency. It was to provide a caring environment where she could talk openly about her circumstances, explore her options, and receive the support and information she needed. This distinction is so important in pregnancy help work.

Before we offer solutions, we listen. We seek to understand her circumstances, the pressures she may be experiencing, and what matters most to her. We help her identify resources and support, and we give her space to work through her questions without feeling rushed or directed toward a particular outcome.

When a woman chooses to continue her pregnancy, adoption can be explored alongside parenting as she considers what is best for herself and her child. She deserves accurate information, thoughtful conversations, and opportunities to connect with qualified adoption professionals if she wants to learn more.

Our role is not to persuade her to make an adoption plan. It is to create an environment where she feels safe asking questions, exploring possibilities, and making informed decisions without pressure.

And that support should not end when a decision is made. Whether a woman chooses to parent her child herself or chooses parents to raise her child through adoption, she deserves continued compassion, encouragement, and access to appropriate support.

Celebrating Adoption with Compassion and Understanding

National Adoption Month reminds us that adoption is about so much more than a legal process or a single moment of celebration. It is about people, relationships, families, and lifelong stories.

For pregnancy help organizations, it is also a reminder of the importance of developing strong relationships with ethical, qualified adoption professionals who can provide expectant parents with accurate information, compassionate counseling, and ongoing support.

I know from my years in adoption work how important those relationships can be. Pregnancy help organizations do not need to be adoption experts, but we should be comfortable having thoughtful conversations about adoption and prepared to connect women with professionals who can help them explore what an adoption plan could look like, including different levels of openness and the lifelong implications of that decision.

We can celebrate the beauty of adoption without minimizing its complexities. We can honor adoptive families while also acknowledging the experiences of birth families and adoptees. And we can recognize adoption as a meaningful option without presenting it as the expected choice for any woman facing an unexpected pregnancy.

As I think back on those National Adoption Day celebrations, I can still picture the families gathered around the judges and hear the sound of those bells ringing throughout the room. Each bell represented a significant moment in a family's story.

But the lessons I carry from those years extend beyond the celebrations. They remind me that behind every adoption are real people whose experiences, decisions, and relationships deserve our care and respect.

Perhaps this National Adoption Month is also an opportunity for us to reflect on an important question in our own pregnancy help organizations:

Are we creating space for women to genuinely explore adoption as one of their parenting options, or are we primarily presenting it as a solution to an unexpected pregnancy?

It is a question worth considering, not because we should be less enthusiastic about adoption, but because we want to serve women and families with the greatest possible care, compassion, integrity, and understanding.

This November, as we celebrate National Adoption Month, may we celebrate the families formed through adoption, honor every person touched by it, and recommit ourselves to ensuring that every woman who walks through our doors feels heard, valued, supported, and empowered to make informed decisions for herself and her child.

Additional Resources

National Adoption Month Proclamation (1995) – Historical background on the establishment of National Adoption Month and its purpose.

National Adoption Day – Information about the annual celebration, adoption finalizations, and events held across the country.

Exploring Adoption – National Council For Adoption – Educational resources and training for professionals serving expectant parents, including adoption practices, language, and informed decision-making.

Resources for Expectant Parents – National Council For Adoption – Information to help expectant parents better understand adoption, their rights, and the options available to them.

Christian Adoptions Alliance – Faith-based adoption education, resources, and connections for expectant parents, prospective adoptive families, and pregnancy help professionals.